Prevent Child Abuse New York's Blog

ACE Think Tank Event in Albany

Capital Region child-and-family advocates, service providers and concerned citizens looking for professional development and networking opportunities are invited to attend two afternoon workshops at the University at Albany this Thursday.

Real Life Heroes and the HEROES Project: Promoting Developmental, Attachment-Centered Treatment for Children with Complex PTSD will be presented by Richard Kagan. Ph.D., Director of Research and Consultation at the Sidney Albert Training and Research Institute at Parsons Child and Family Center. The workshop explores how creative arts activities and the metaphor of heroes can be utilized to engage children and caregivers to work in trauma-informed treatment programs.

The second workshop, Scenic Views of Volunteerism: Enhance Your Life Through Compassion, is presented by Robert Clancy, community volunteer, author, and managing partner at Spiral Design Studio, LLC. Clancy, author of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Soul, will discuss how community service enhances your life, how volunteerism makes a difference in your community and why you should be involved, and how you can enhance your leadership through compassion.

The event is Thursday, May 16, 2013, 2-5 p.m., at the Husted Amphitheater (HS106A), University at Albany Downtown Campus, 135 Western Ave, Albany.

Please register online prior to the event to guarantee your space. More information can be found on the on the official event flier.

The event is presented by the School of Social Welfare at the University at Albany, Prevent Child Abuse New York, Senior Hope, National Association of Social Workers New York State Chapter, in cooperation with the ACE Think Tank and HEARTS Initiative.

Happy Mother's Day to the Moms Who Do Their Best Everyday

To the moms who do their best everyday, who have spent sleepless nights on rocking chairs and countless hours preparing meals, laundry and activities, who have cheered first steps and praised first words, who have hugged, comforted and reassured the tired, hungry, sick and scared, who have learned when to hold on and when to let go, who have stubbed their toes and cut their feet on legos and miniature tea pots, who have sniffled and (discretely) shed tears at graduations, recitals, and birthdays, who are awestruck by the amazing people their children are becoming, and who constantly relegate their own needs to another day, enjoy this day of tribute to the most challenging and important job you'll ever have. Happy Mother's Day!

Moms, please take time this Mother's Day to consider the importance of taking care of yourself. Here are some self-care tips especially designed for you.

Give Yourself a Break
The sink is full, the hamper is overflowing, the kitchen is a minefield of toys, and you're feeling the stress of being surrounded by clutter and chaos. Tend to what's most important and leave the rest for another time. Lower your expectations for a clean and tidy house. Then you won't beat yourself up when things (inevitably) get messy. There will be plenty of time for a neat and organized house when your kids are older.

Remember No One Is Perfect
There is no such thing as the perfect parent, so don't torture yourself when you make a mistake. Every parent gets it wrong sometimes. Take the opportunity to learn from your mistakes. Apologize to your kids and let them know you're trying to improve. Parenting is a tough job. If you feel overwhelmed by the pressure and stress of child rearing—and everyone does at one time or another—ask for help. Our Parent Helpline can connect you to parenting resources in your community. Call 1-800-CHILDREN for information and referrals on parenting education and support programs and resources.

Enlist Help Around the House
Dorothy Canfield Fisher said, "A mother is not a person to lean on but a person to make leaning unnecessary." It's natural to want to do things for your kids (and usually faster to do them yourself), but your ultimate task as a mom is to help your children grow to become capable, independent, problem-solving adults. Ask your children to help around the house. Even young children can pick up toys, put their dirty clothes in the hamper and assist with simple kitchen projects. Older children can help with laundry, dishes and vacuuming. This can ease some of your workload and, more importantly, build competence and confidence in your kids.

Build Your Support Network
Moms truly get by with a little help from their friends. Find other families in your neighborhood. Get to know the parents at school and day care. Whether it's an unexpected traffic jam that makes you late for school pick-up or an sudden illness or injury, all families face crises both large and small. When crisis strikes, a supportive network will prove essential in countless ways. Don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it, and remember to offer help to others in a pinch.

Reconnect with the Before-Kids You
Remember the person you were before you had kids? The person who loved to read? Or write, or paint, or go for hikes? Make time to do whatever it is that recharges your batteries. Even if you can only find a few minutes a day or an hour a week to focus on yourself, give yourself that gift. You'll have more energy and enthusiasm for parenting if you take time to focus on your own pursuits.

In the Happiness Project, Gretchen Rubin writes, "the days are long, but the years are short." This is true in general, but particularly true for moms. While your days may feel like a marathon, remember to be grateful for the small pleasures they bring.

A Day for Survivors to Speak Out

Every year I organize an event for survivors of child abuse, domestic violence and rape to come together and share their stories of abuse. Every year, when I tell this to people, some back away from me slowly, but I manage to engage a few people in very interesting conversations.

Child abuse, domestic violence and rape are enormously ugly issues. We don’t like talking about them conversationally. We don’t like talking about them with our children, because we can’t stand thinking these things could possibly befall them. Twice in less than a year I have had disclaimers slapped on things I wrote that deal with the topic of child sex abuse, things that never would have had disclaimers had they dealt with another topic. And never have I met a survivor of any of these traumas who has said “I really want to remember this experience more vividly."

So what’s the point in organizing the event?

Child abuse, domestic violence and rape happen whether we talk about them or not. There are indications of some declines in child abuse within the last decade, as advocates have worked ceaselessly to bring attention to it—in other words, to make sure that everyone in our society is willing and able to speak about it. For victims of these crimes, not being allowed to talk about them is a remnant of the abuse they suffered—most often, they are told explicitly or implicitly that telling anyone about what happened to them will result in further harm to them or to someone they love. When someone is not allowed to speak about a reality of their life, they are having part of their life taken away from them. Someone cannot ask for help if they cannot articulate what they need help with. They cannot put it in any context, and they cannot transform it into anything other than a trauma.

When a survivor talks about their abuse, the first thing that happens is they place the abuse in the past tense of their lives. That is a very subtle, but powerful, experience. They rebel and break away from all those who had power over them and forbid them to speak of it, thus removing themselves from the lingering domination of an abuser. When several survivors listen to each other’s stories, there is tremendous validation and support—they realize they weren’t the only person in the world who was victimized and manipulated. And they get to see they aren’t the only one who survived, who found a way out and who learned how to navigate adult life. An additional benefit is that often, survivors write what they plan on saying before they actually say it. Writing about a trauma actually changes the neurological ways information about that trauma is stored, usually making the memories associated with it less intense and painful. Most trauma survivors I know have said keeping a journal about their traumatic memories was one of most helpful treatments for PTSD they have ever encountered.

Speak Out Rochester is an event for all survivors of child abuse, domestic violence and sexual assault. This year’s event is Saturday, April 27 1-5 PM at Hochstein Music School, 50 N Plymouth Ave. Rochester NY 14614. The event is free and open to the public. Survivors are invited to share their stories any way they see fit, using as much or as little creativity as they choose. For more information, please contact Melanie Blow at (585) 315-6480 or email speakoutny@yahoo.com.

Take Action for the Child Victim's Act

We urge all New Yorkers to join Prevent Child Abuse New York and other advocates in  urging passage of the Child Victims Act, bill A.1771-S.3809, which would eliminate the statute of limitations for sex offenses against children. 

Currently, a child rapist can be prosecuted for only five years after the child turns 18 and victims have just until their 23rd birthday to file a civil action suit against an abuser. This rarely happens. Substantial research finds victims often require an extensive period of time before they are ready to tell anyone about their abuse. Between 60% and 80% of adults who were sexually abused as children don’t disclose until adulthood. No legislation can change the psychological and social obstacles that keep children from disclosing their abuse, but eliminating the statute of limitations (SOL) on its prosecution ensures a future where survivors can seek justice whenever it is safe for them to do so.

In addition to denying them justice, requiring victims to come forward by their 23^rd birthday has the effect of protecting offenders. More children are victimized as the result of our failure to deal with offenders; child sexual abuse is not a one-time, one-victim offense. 

The shortcoming in any SOL reform is that it doesn’t help survivors who were abused before the new law is passed. Therefore, to help victims achieve some semblance of justice, several states have created “civil windows” that allow lawsuits to be filed against the accused no matter how long ago the abuse occurred, though for a limited amount of time after the law takes effect. This is the most contentious part of the Child Victims Act, because it provides immediate consequences for those who have sexually abused children in the past.

We are blessed to know many child sex abuse survivors. Most have had no legal justice. They may prefer prosecution of the offender, but since the SOL denies them their day in criminal court, filling a lawsuit for financial recompense is their only option. It also is reasonable. Many consequences of child sex abuse lead to lifetime poverty or diminished earning potential; a recent CDC study estimated that child abuse costs its survivors over $200,000 throughout their lives in lost wages and increased medical care.

And yet, the main motivation for going to court is to spare other children the lingering pain and damage they suffered. These lawsuits can also help prevent future abuse. States that already have civil window legislation have compiled public databases of sex offenders who were successfully sued, even though they avoided arrest, which can be scanned by schools, businesses, caseworkers involved in adoption or foster care, or judicious parents.

Under current law, most people who rape one child are free to rape others. New York’s lawmakers have allowed a broken law to remain unfixed for too long, and far too many children have suffered for it. Contact your Legislators now at Support Child Victims Act!

Child Abuse Prevention Month - Promises for Prevention

April is Child Abuse Prevention (CAP) Month—a time to draw attention to the healthy, happy and safe childhood that all kids deserve. A Promises for Prevention Campaign is a terrific way to make a difference for the kids in your community.

Promises for Prevention is a pledge campaign that does not solicit money. Rather, it solicits promises, asking individuals to pledge to do something tangible to help, support or ease the job of parents.

Promises for Prevention campaigns encourage everyone in our communities to take responsibility for providing the support and assistance that all parents need. These campaigns are a strategy for the primary prevention of child abuse and neglect.

The goal of primary prevention is to stop child abuse and neglect from ever happening. Primary prevention strategies create supportive environments that empower parents and help them access the tools they need to raise their children in safe, loving, and nurturing homes. Primary prevention efforts are often found in places where families gather: neighborhoods, workplaces, shopping centers, libraries, religious settings, schools, and clubs.

Promises for Prevention campaigns accomplish primary prevention by increasing understanding of one of the solutions to the problem of child abuse—supporting parents—and by mobilizing citizens to engage in that solution.

As with other pledge campaigns, individuals create and complete pledge cards indicating what their commitment will be. Pledge cards can be distributed in several ways: at presentations, at informal gatherings of parents and friends, at community meetings, at public display sites, or through the print media.

Pledge cards can be used as an educational hand-out or pledges can be returned to a Promises for Prevention campaign leader for counting and publicizing.

Here are some example pledges

• Offer to baby-sit free of charge, so parents can get a break.
• Arrange an on-going weekly or bi-weekly meeting with another mother (or a small group of mothers) so that mothers can talk over experiences or problems, while children play together.
• If you are a grandparent, take care of a different grandchild each week to relieve some pressure on their parents.
• If you are a supervisor, encourage and support flex and comp-time arrangements so parents may deal with day-to-day situations and children’s emergencies without the added stress of repercussions at work.
• If you are a preschool teacher, establish informal monthly meetings for parents of young children to provides information on parenting and schooling.
• Canvas members of a social club and seek people available to provide babysitting for children under two years of age.
• Be a good listener for the parents you have contact with. Let them talk about their trials and triumphs.
• If you are a doctor or work at a doctor's office, locate and distribute positive literature on children’s health issues and activities.
• Work with the PTA to bring a parenting class to school and offer babysitting for parents who may otherwise be unable to attend.
• Offer rides to neighborhood children's activities.
• Volunteer as a big brother or club leader to help out kids and allow parents some free time.

Like us on Facebook for more CAP Month tips, tools and resources.

Child Abuse Prevention Month Tips for Making a Difference in Your Community

April is Child Abuse Prevention (CAP) Month—a time to draw attention to the healthy, happy and safe childhood that all kids deserve. This April, it’s your turn to make a difference for the kids in your neighborhood! Below are some tips for getting started.

Talk to your neighbors
Be willing to look our for one another’s children. Encourage a supportive spirit among parents in your community.

Mentor a new parent in your neighborhood
Sometimes families go from receiving a lot of support when a baby first arrives to getting little or no support just a few months later. This can leave a parent feeling overwhelmed. Check in often with a new parent. Sometimes just holding or changing the baby will allow a new mom or dad to finish an errand or take a few minutes for themselves.

Be a friend to the parents that you know
Ask how their children are doing. Ask them how they are doing! If a parent seems to be struggling, offer to baby-sit, run errands or lend a friendly ear. Remind them that raising is a difficult job.

Keep your neighbors safe
Offer to pick up your neighbors mail when they are out of town and let them know you can keep an eye on their home. When street lights burn out, report the outage to the city to avoid dark places in your neighborhood.

Distribute materials to educate and support families in public places
Parenting is tough work! It is important to let families know that you support the love, devotion and healthy discipline they offer their children. It’s also important to offer information and tips about the developmental milestones. Our prevention and parenting tips sheets—available in English and Spanish—address concerns ranging from colic to tuning in to your teens.

Plant a pinwheel garden in a community gathering place
Pinwheels are a sign of happy, carefree childhoods; the kind that every kid deserves to experience. Host a public event to launch the garden. Take photos and send them to your local newspaper along with a statement of your support. Tools and resources for organizing a Pinwheels for Prevention event are on our web site.

Host an event for children
Inspire them to color pinwheels and post them in a public place. Arrange for the activity to be lead by a childcare provider, allowing parents a break and the chance to enjoy conversation with other adults.

Decorate and sell $1 paper pinwheels
Post them in a visible location within public buildings or local stores. Challenge a neighboring community in a friendly contest to post the most!

Be a good role model
Parents are always looking for new parenting techniques and you can help provide them by setting a good example.

Be active in your community
Developing playgroups for new families at community centers, libraries or schools ultimately contributes to the well-being of children.

Volunteer your time
Start a Circle of Parents support group, spend time mentoring a child, or start a family program of your own.

Call or write your elected officials
Ask your representatives to support funding and legislative initiatives for parent support and child abuse prevention programs.

Remember ...
Anything that supports the children parents, grandparents and caregivers in your community helps strengthen families and reduce the likelihood of abuse.

Like us on Facebook for more CAP Month news, tips and resources.

Price Chopper Campaign to Benefit Prevent Child Abuse New York

This April an unusual item will be popping up on shoppers’ grocery lists: Pinwheels for Prevention pin-ups. In fact, Price Chopper stores hope to sell 45,000 of them during a month-long pin-up campaign during Child Abuse Prevention Month. Proceeds from the campaign will benefit Prevent Child Abuse chapters in New York and surrounding states.

“There’s no excuse for child abuse. Price Chopper will relay that message, create awareness and raise funds through our partnership with Prevent Child Abuse,” states Stephanie VanDerwerker, senior community relations specialist for Golub Corporation, parent company of Price Chopper Supermarkets.

“April is Child Abuse Prevention Month, and Price Chopper is proud to host our annual pinwheel pin-up program to benefit Prevent Child Abuse. During the month of April, store guests may purchase a $1 pinwheel at any Price Chopper register. In 2012, Price Chopper and its guests raised over $37,000 and our goal this year is to raise $45,000. Hosting programs such as the Prevent Child Abuse campaign is one way that Price Chopper demonstrates our support of the communities in which we do business,” said VanDerwerker.

“Price Chopper has been our partner in the fight against child abuse for more than a decade. Their continued commitment to our work has made a tangible difference in our efforts to stop child abuse and neglect before it starts,” said Christine Deyss, Executive Director of Prevent Child Abuse New York.

Every dollar collected in New York will support Prevent Child Abuse New York’s Parent Helpline, public education, and legislative advocacy work throughout the state. As part of the campaign, Parent Helpline bookmarks will be available at Price Chopper’s customer service desks.

Fox 23 News WXXA also joined the effort, sponsoring the Pinwheels for Prevention Pin-up campaign and running television PSAs during the campaign.

Child Abuse Prevention Month and Pinwheels for Prevention

Exactly what, you may be wondering, do pinwheels have to do with Child Abuse Prevention (CAP) Month? Pinwheels? Really?

Pinwheels for Prevention is a nationwide public awareness campaign perfectly suited to awareness raising opportunities CAP Month presents. The concept was created by Prevent Child Abuse America (PCA America) and its state chapters. More than just an awareness campaign, the goal of Pinwheels of Prevention is to engage people in taking action to prevent abuse and neglect from happening in the first place. 

The campaign is built around the symbol of the pinwheel. Pinwheels are a happy and uplifting token of childhood. They represent PCA America’s efforts to change the way our nation thinks about prevention and are the centerpiece of the growing movement of people and organizations committed to stopping child abuse before it starts.

Insight gained through recent social marketing research, conducted by FrameWorks Institute for Prevent Child Abuse America, has caused us to take another look at how we talk about prevention and the tools we use to present our message to the public. The Blue Ribbon has been, and will continue to be, successfully used as a national symbol of child abuse awareness. Our goal, however, is to steer focus away from the problem of child abuse toward the solutions. To accomplish this, we are promoting another symbol, a Pinwheel. The pinwheel is reflective of the bright future all children deserve and our belief that getting it right early on is less costly than trying to fix it later.

Pinwheels for Prevention campaigns highlight how the choices we make every day can create positive change. Collectively and individually, we can create healthy and supportive communities through advocacy efforts, program development, collaboration, inclusion and education.

Your agency or group may want to consider using Pinwheels for Prevention as symbols of “change,” acknowledging how parenting has evolved over the years as a result of changes in social, cultural, and demographic trends in families. The pinwheel symbol will appeal to children, families and advocates and is easily adaptable for marketing the message through a variety of mediums. It also encourages us to “change” the way we communicate this prevention message to our audience from one of “awarenesss of the problem” to “solutions of effective prevention”

You'll find campaign ideas, resources and an online store to purchase campaign materials on our web site.

It’s your turn to make a difference! Please consider taking action to prevent child abuse. The possibilities are endless. 

Like us on Facebook for more CAP Month tips, news and resources.

Get Ready Now - April Is Child Abuse Prevention Month

All children deserve a healthy, happy and safe childhood. April is Child Abuse Prevention (CAP) Month, and it’s your turn to make a difference for kids!

Everyone has a role to play in preventing child abuse and supporting families. Below you’ll find a round-up of CAP Month events, resources and ideas for getting involved.

Pinwheels for Prevention
To raise awareness of Child Abuse Prevention Month, Prevent Child Abuse chapters around the nation mobilize Pinwheels for Prevention campaigns. As part of these campaigns, New Yorkers make a promise to prevention by distributing pinwheels and hosting educational events throughout the state. Pinwheels are a symbol of a happy, carefree childhood and the belief that getting it right for kids early on is less costly than trying to fix problems after things have gone wrong. Doesn’t every child deserve this opportunity?

You can get involved by planting pinwheel gardens in a public place, wearing pinwheel lapel pins, displaying car and storefront window clings, hosting events for families, and signing a promise to prevention. Businesses, schools, community-based organizations, civic groups, educators, volunteers, decision-makers and families participate. More information about Pinwheels for Prevention can be found on our website, and you can purchase campaign materials at our online store.

NYS Child Abuse Prevention Conference
Child-serving professionals and advocates from around the state will gather on April 15-17 at PCANY’s 18th annual Child Abuse Prevention Conference, Many Voices, One Vision. A must-attend for anyone who works with kids and families, the event includes sessions focused on parenting education, child abuse prevention skills and strategies, reducing barriers to children’s well-being, family engagement, and personal and organizational resilience. Keynote speakers include Dr. Gabor Maté, Johnnetta McSwain and Cordelia Anderson. A limited number of spots remain, so register now.

Price Chopper Supermarkets Campaign to Benefit PCANY
An unusual item will be popping up on shoppers’ grocery lists: Pinwheels for Prevention pin-ups. In fact, Price Chopper stores hope to sell 45,000 of them during a Child Abuse Prevention Month campaign that will benefit PCANY and sister chapters in surrounding states. Every dollar collected in New York will support our Parent Helpline, public education, and legislative advocacy work throughout the state.

More Resources ...
Our CAP Month Community Resource Packet includes more tools and resources to help you take an active part in celebrating Child Abuse Prevention Month. You can also download our prevention and parenting tip sheets—in English and Spanish—to distribute to parents and caregivers. 

Like us on Facebook for CAP Month tips and updates throughout the month and, while you're there, let us know what you're doing to make a difference this April.

NYS Child Abuse Prevention Conference Deadline Approaching!

Could you benefit from knowing the latest child abuse prevention skills and strategies? Need to know more about reducing barriers to children’s well being? Looking to boost your personal or organizational resilience? These and many more topics will be addressed at Many Voices, One Vision, the 2013 New York State Child Abuse Prevention Conference, April 15-17, at the Albany Marriott. If you haven't registered yet, it's not too late. Register online or download a PDF of the full registration brochure. Don't delay - a late fee will be applied after March 28.

Whether you're a seasoned professional or new to the field, the Child Abuse Prevention Conference has plenty to offer you, including:

Three nationally reknowned keynote speakers:

• Dr. Gabor Mate, Physician, Author, Public Speaker
  Peer Orientation: Why Children Are Stressed, Why Parents and Professionals Are Disempowered and How to Restore a Healthy Balance in Adult-Child Relationships
• Johnnetta McSwain, CEO and Founder, Breaking the Cycle, Beating the Odds and DreamWright Publications
  Rising Above the Scars
• Cordelia Anderson, Founder, Sensibilities Prevention Services
  Demand the Change for Children: Mobilizing for Change

More than 40 skills-building workshops and institutes presented by recognized experts - below is just a taste of what's being offered:

• The Biology of Loss: What Happens When Attachments Are Impaired and How to Foster Resilience
• Preserving Your Grant Funding and Your Humanity in a Low Growth Economy
• Child Sexual Abuse Prevention Using Protective Factors for Families and Children
• Supporting Youth through Death and Grief
• The Leadership Standard
• Reading the Cries and Cues of Infants in the Child Welfare System: Strategies and Techniques for Parents, Parent Educators, and Caseworkers
• Vicarious Trauma and Self Care
• Man On Board: The Influence of Males on a Traditionally Female Dominated Work Environment
• Raising Sexually Healthy Children & Teens
• The New Americans
• Trained Optimism for Really Smart People: How to Be Happy, Effective, and Resilient in Work and Life

An opportunity to showcase your product or program:
This is your chance to network and connect with hundreds of service providers from across the state. Non-profit and commercial exhibit booths are available. More information about exhibiting is on our web site or in the Exhibitor's Packet.

Advertising opportunities:
If you can't attend, you can still reach conference participants by displaying your information or literature at a take-one table or in the conference packets. Take-one tables are located in high-visibility areas and packets are given to every participant at registration. More information is in the Exhibitor's Packet.

Remember, the registration deadline is March 28. Register now to avoid disappointment. Please call 518-445-1273 with any questions.