Prevent Child Abuse New York's Blog

What's on Your Toddler's Plate?

The second post in our National Toddler Month series:

Teaching your toddler healthy eating habits is vital to their future health. Trust me, it's not as hard as it seems (I know plenty of toddlers who happily gobble up beets, tofu, and beans). It just takes some effort, planning, and an understanding of what makes toddlers tick.

Kidshealth.org sums it up perfectly:

Toddlers are learning to navigate their world, communicate, and exert control over aspects of their lives. They don't actually have control over much, but eating is one of the first areas they will master. Parents can help them enjoy their limited power by giving them appropriate amounts of freedom when it comes to choosing foods and eating them.

Toddlers are very impressionable, and one approach to teaching them healthy eating habits is through hands-on learning. Bring your child to the grocery store and point out a variety of healthy foods. Allow them to make some choices: Spinach or carrots? Bananas or apples?

At home involve them in the preparation of dinner. This instills a sense of accomplishment.

Try to eat meals as a family and as often as you can, making mealtimes pleasant. This will help your child associate food with something positive.

More healthy eating tips:

• Exercise portion control. Respect your child's declaration of "all done." Don't force them to eat more just because it's on their plate.
• Never negotiate. The “If you eat 3 bites of your vegetables, then I will give you ice cream" approach may get you out of the occasional jam, but it's not a sound long-term strategy.
• Practice what you preach. Your child is more likely to eat healthy foods if they see their parents, family and friends eating healthfully.
• Let children feed themselves. Toddlers need some help when they start self feeding. As they become more skilled, offer help only when they are getting frustrated or you see them over eating. Eventually, through your help, your child will be able to completely feed themselves wonderfully healthy and nutritious foods.

Social Networking Safety: A Guide for Parents

A strange thing happened to me recently: I got a Facebook friend request from my mother. While my mother—with the help of her teenage nephew—managed to create a Facebook profile, her knowledge of how teens use social networking sites consists of a vague understanding that they will on occasion post a picture or send a message to a friend.

Luckily for my mother, her child-rearing days are over, and she need not concern herself with such matters. This is not the case for millions of parents who may find themselves bewildered by the pace and volume of their kids' online social networking.

Nancy Willard, Director of the Center for Safe and Responsible Internet Use, recently addressed the topic of internet safety at a Princeton University forum. Her message to parents was simple—the internet is here, kids will use it, so you need to set clear guidelines for proper use based on a child's age and maturity.

Need some help figuring out how to do that? Download her reference guide: Social Networking Safety: A Guide for Parents

One Part Charmer, One Part Terror, Wholly Loveable

From nurturing a burgeoning brain to quelling an escalating tantrum, raising a toddler is one tough task. August is National Toddler Month, a time to honor the trials and triumphs of toddlers and the devoted, but ragged folks who love them the most—their parents.

This is a first in a series of posts dedicated to this special time of childhood.

Toddlerhood is an intensely important time in the life of a child. It’s a time of rapid learning, brain development and physical growth. In dealing with toddlers, knowledge is power: Knowing what to expect from your toddler and how to respond appropriately reduces household stress and enhances the connection between parent and child.

Challenging behavior is a hallmark of toddlerhood. Here’s why:

Toddlers have a lot of energy. This is a period of rapid motor growth as they learn to walk, run, climb, throw and feed themselves.

Toddlers are naturally curious. They want to know how the world works, explore everything in their environment, and test how people respond to their behavior.

Toddlers lack impulse control. They are all action and little thought. They need guidance in areas such as safety, manners and empathy.

Toddlers get frustrated. They have a limited capacity to get their point across because their ability to communicate hasn’t caught up with their desire to communicate. Their lack of coordination and fine motor skills may cause frustration too.

Toddlers have tantrums. Rudimentary communication skills coupled with a lack of experience in dealing with emotions means toddlers are easily susceptible to fierce outbursts.

Toddlers crave independence. They want to practice their new skills such as getting dressed and self-feeding.

Toddlers are possessive. They want what they want now. “Mine!” is an oft-repeated declaration during the toddler years.

Now that we know why toddlers behave as they do, how should parents respond to them? Here are some useful tips for communicating and connecting with toddlers:

Use nonverbal communication. Nonverbal communication involves the feelings expressed through facial expressions, vocalizations, or the way you move or stand.

• Maintain eye contact when you express your feelings to your toddler. This tells them that they are important; it also encourages them to make eye contact with you. Be aware of your posture and position when talking with your toddler. Get down to her eye level. Kneel next to him or sit beside him to take away the intimidating difference in size and height.
• Your tone of voice may be the most powerful nonverbal tool of all. Keeping your voice calm, soothing, and soft helps toddlers feel safe and able to express themselves in return.
• Use facial expressions and touch. Simply rubbing a toddler’s back, smiling and winking, or tucking a him into bed says, "I care about you."

Be a positive disciplinarian. Discipline teaches children what to expect and how to behave.

• Tell your toddler what to do instead of what not to do. Try “color on these papers” instead of “don’t color on the floor.”
• Catch your toddler doing something good and praise that behavior. Try “good asking” after your toddler politely asks for something, or “good walking” when they are holding your hand and walking beside you.
• Give warnings and then follow through. For example, "Food stays on our plate. If it goes on the floor, I will take it away" (the warning). If the warning needs to be repeated more than twice, take the plate away and end the meal (the consequence).

For more about positive parenting and discipline, visit our web site.

The Rocket's Red Glare

Honoring the birth of our nation with celebrations of food, friends, fun and fireworks is a tradition enjoyed by many American families.

Here are some fireworks fast facts, courtesy of the CDC:

• 60% of injuries from fireworks in the United States occur in the month surrounding the July 4th holiday.
• Between June 18 and July 18, 2005, firecrackers (26%), sparklers (17%), and rockets (17%) accounted for most of the injuries seen in emergency departments. Sparklers were associated with over half of the estimated injuries among children under 5 years, during the same time period.
• During the month around Independence Day (July 4th), children 14 years and younger sustained about 45% of injuries related to fireworks.
• Injuries from fireworks most often affect the hands, eyes, and the head, face, and ears.

Don't let your holiday tradition become a painful memory! Practice these safety measures:

• Children should never touch or handle fireworks.
• Kids are natural imitators. If they see you handling fireworks, they will want to follow suit. You may have to trade in your backyard salute to the nation for a professional display.
• Never try to make your own fireworks.

The best way to celebrate Independence Day safely is to leave the fireworks display to the professionals. Enjoy your holiday!

What's a Dad to Do?

The introduction to Marie Hartwell-Walker's recently published essay about fatherhood in America:

Americans seem more confused than ever about the role of fathers in children’s lives. On the one hand, more and more fathers are absent for all or significant periods of time. According to the 2006 Census, 23 percent of children under 18 do not live with their biological father and the number is climbing. On the other hand, search “fatherhood” on the web and you’ll find dozens of websites dedicated to teaching, encouraging, and supporting men in becoming more nurturing and involved fathers.

Meanwhile, many TV sitcoms and animated shows continue to portray dads as dolts or, at best, well-meaning but misguided large children whose wives have to mother them as well as their offspring. If an alien in another universe happens to tune in to The Simpsons, Everyone Loves Raymond, Family Guy, etc., he (it?) will come away with a rather skewed idea of how men function in American families.

Read the full essay here.

Light Saber

The Advertising Council, the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services’ Administration for Children and Families Office of Family Assistance and the National Responsible Fatherhood Clearinghouse have launched a new series of public service advertisements (PSAs) designed to show dads the critical role they play in their children’s lives.

Below is a video from the campaign.

Resources for Families Web Site

The New York State Council on Children and Families has announced a new web site containing a unique collection of resources focusing on contemporary family issues. The site provides a user-friendly interface to locate high-quality resources available on-line, in local libraries or by purchase from book sellers, and is designed for parents, professionals, and community leaders, particularly those who serve children and youth.

Resources found on the site are useful both to families raising children before birth to adolescence and to the professionals that support them.

Subject areas span the gamut of issues and topics important to families, including child development, special-needs children, stress management, violence prevention, and more.

Visit NYS Family Resources.

Have Mother's Day Your Way

Help wanted: Female to work double to triple shifts. No weekends or holidays off. Long-term commitment: 18 years minimum. Must have unlimited physical and emotional stamina. Low pay to start but high potential for satisfaction.

Welcome to life as a mother!

Mother’s Day celebrates motherhood and honors the contributions of mothers to society. As the many stresses faced by families continue to mount, Mother’s Day is also an opportunity for moms to seek support and validation in their role as caregivers.

Here are some helpful tips for moms to relax, unwind and recharge. Remember Moms, in order to take care of others you must first take care of yourself.

Tips for taking care of you:

• Exercise is a great way to combat stress. Find ways to get moving with the whole family. Go for a brisk walk with your children in their stroller, play a game of catch at the park, or take a family bike ride.


• Talk to a friend about the challenges (and triumphs) you face as a mother. Talking will lift some of the weight off your shoulder. Even better, get together with friends for coffee or lunch. Problems at home may seem less overwhelming if you can take a break from them, even if it is just for a few hours.


• Your to-do list probably reads something like this: Do the laundry; make lunch; clean up from lunch; do more laundry; pick up toys; fold the laundry; make dinner; clean up from dinner; give the kids baths; put the kids to bed; do more laundry. If anything, Mother's Day is a great excuse to take a day off from these chores. Take some time to work on a puzzle, read a book, or work on a special project to recharge your batteries. The laundry and dishes will still be there tomorrow, but now you'll have more energy to tackle them.


• Give yourself the gift of a good night’s sleep. Exhaustion can make the challenges of parenthood seem insurmountable. Eight hours of sleep can do wonders for your outlook on life.


• Proper nutrition will help you feel better overall. Eating carbohydrates helps to soothe, while being properly hydrated allows you to feel less fatigued and have fewer aches and pains. Don’t forget to include fresh fruits and veggies for a well balanced diet.

For more information on how moms can get support in their communities please call the Parent Helpline at 1-800-342-7472.

More Tips for Parents.

Play Groups Easing Isolation of Rural Families

By Dana M. Nichols

Record Staff Writer, Recordnet.com

January 26, 2007 6:00 AM

VALLEY SPRINGS - Erin Cottle, 17 months, and Deven Anderson, about the same age, got off to a rocky start Monday morning. They met over a puzzle. Something under Deven's control, possibly a piece of the puzzle, smacked Erin's eye.

Tears flowed. Erin retreated to her mommy, Catriona Cottle, for a kiss, a hug. Deven, concerned, toddled over to see if she was all right. The storm passed. First Deven, then Erin, slipped happily back to playing with 15 other children on the carpeted floor of a rented martial arts studio.

Such bumps and adventures were once a routine part of childhood. These days, however, unstructured play with other youngsters is limited or absent for many children, pushed aside by the isolation of a car-oriented society, busy schedules and even electronic entertainment, say parents and early childhood development experts.

To read more, click here.